Customs and luxuries of the women in Malabar. Management of the children, Weddings, &c.
DEAR AND HONOURED MOTHER, Though it might seem hardly consistent with my respect for you to descend to a minute description of the costume, habits, &c., of the women of this country, yet since you have asked for it, I will devote this letter to satisfying your curiosity.
The people here are of a different colour from those at home, for the natives are either black, brown, or of a light tawny colour, and the Europeans themselves soon lose their beauty and become pallid; a fresh bright colour being never seen, because the delicate veins of the epidermis which give the rozy tint, are here destroyed by the heat of the sun. The women, however, are not deterred from seeking to make up for this loss, by the outward adornment of costly apparel. There is not one of any fortune who does not own as many as twenty or thirty chests full of robes, made of silk or some other valuable material, for it would be a disgrace in their eyes to wear the same dress two or three days in succession. Their necks are adorned with necklaces of diamonds, their ears with ear rings, and their fingers with rings of the same precious stones. Pearls are very common with them, and gold chains are worn by the wives and children of tradesmen and soldiers. Perhaps you will say that this is a shocking luxury, and ask what is the use of all these clothes? but what would you say were they to remind you that many Dutch and Frisian women fill their chests with linen which is never used, but is kept carefully locked up, and never sees day-light except when it is grown so yellow with age that it must needs be washed?
In Cochin the women go generally on foot; but at Batavia, people of even ordinary degree are often carried in sedans by their slaves, whilst the rich travel in coaches, and these are so common there that my own tailor rode in a calash. When the ladies go out to walk it is generally by moon-light, and they are followed by a troop of slaves, male and female. India is certainly a luxurious country for women: for no sooner does any servant girl arrive from home in Batavia than she becomes a lady, marries a man with money, and is immediately surrounded by slaves who run hither and thither at her command. Even the women who are supported by charitable funds would be ashamed to go out without a slave. All persons of any pretension carry a parasol over the head, to ward off the heat of the sun, and no woman would like to be seen without a slave to hold it. The universal pleasure, both of men and women, is betel chewing; and when the women visit each other, a large silver dish of betel is brought out, with silver boxes and cups, in which the betel leaves are laid, with areca and lime. Cardamums, ketchup, gambier and other condiments are often added to give the mixture a flavour. With persons of any rank, all this service must be of silver, indeed they would be ashamed to place their wine glasses upon any but silver salvers: the glasses are then filled with wine, and handed round to the company by a slave. Perhaps you will object to such pomp and luxury, but custom is second nature, and it is not the possession and use of such things, but their abuse, that signifies anything. None but fools would feel any pride in them; as for myself I am indifferent whether I have them or not.
The native women of European race are all dressed like the Dutch: but the mixed or half white races have a totally different costume. They wear a vest over the upper part of the body, without sleeves and open in front: over this, a jacket of fine linen, descending below the waste, wide in the body; and tight in the sleeves. Round the lower part of the body they twist cloths of various colours, and fasten them with pins in front. They wear also stockings and slippers, and hang a folded cloth over their shoulders, about a hand breadth in width, hanging down half way back and front. This garment they call a tokes: it is frequently made of fine stuff edged with gold. They wear no covering on their heads; and their hair is not plaited, but is done up in a stiff knot ornamented with gold hair pins sometimes set with precious stones. They wear ear rings and finger rings like our women.
I must add a word about the management of the children, which differs in many particulars from the customs of our country. They do not swaddle their infants in the way we do; and indeed the swaddling cloth is never used here, loose wrappers only being used. This custom merits approval, not only because the heat renders swaddling inappropriate to this climate, but because it is in itself a more healthy plan. This is the reason why so few men of dwarfish stature are found in India, whereas they abound in Europe. It is doubtless owing to the same system and the greater coolness and cleanliness it induces, that the infants here know nothing of convulsions, which affect nearly all our children, more or less. They are careful to wash themselves and their children very often; and they laugh at our Dutch and Frieslanders, whose cleanliness is expended on their houses only: but I would venture a wager, that if they could but once feel the cold of our winters, they would not think washing so indispensable.
And now I will say something about their betrothals and marriages. In Batavia, these ceremonies are accompanied with what may truly be called princely pomp and expenditure. So extravagant is the outlay for carriages adorned with ribbons, for thrones, wedding feasts, and other accessories, that many incur ruin in consequence. A wedding which costs only 800 rix dollars besides clothes and ornaments, is considered quite shabby. Here it is even more expensive: so much so, that a wedding among the meaner sort of people would often put to shame, a like ceremony among our grandees at home. At the betrothal, the youthful pair are attended by two couples as witnesses, who march behind the bride and bridegroom in a stately manner. Then follow a young man and maiden bearing the crown, which they place upon the bride’s head: and then another couple, carrying herbs, which they scatter over the betrothed pair. A feast is given, accompanied with music: and for the two Sundays after the betrothal, the bride and bridegroom must be visited by all the persons invited. A crown is suspended before the door of the bridegroom to betoken his situation: and in the brides house a throne is set up, over which hangs another crown: and here the young pair are to sit when they are married. On the evening before the wedding, the bridegroom’s crown is carried through the streets on the points of two swords, a man carrying a naked sword in front: musicians follow, together with young men bearing torches. When they have finished their procession through the street, they bring the crown to the bride’s door, where it hangs till the next day. On Sunday afternoon, the bride and bridegroom accompanied by their young friends proceed to the church, and on the completion of the ceremony, two soldiers, who with others are keeping guard in the church, stand at the door to present them with fire arms adorned with flowers, for which they receive presents in return. Outside the door stand the crown-man and crown-maiden, who fasten a small crown with a pin on the bride’s head. They are met on their way home by the herb-man and maiden, who carry baskets of herbs and ornaments made of coloured paper, and strew them before the steps of the advancing pair. Seated on her throne, with a brides-maid on each side, the bride then receives the congratulations of the company. The rest of the night is spent in music, dancing and feasting; and as soon as the bridal dance is over, in which all the company join, the bride is conducted to an elegantly adorned chamber, and the guests depart.
The women marry at a very early period of life, and are to be seen sitting with babies on their knees at an age when in our country they would be playing and running about with children. A girl is considered marriageable when she has attained her 13th year; and then all the suitors begin to flock around her. As she attains woman-hood earlier, so her bloom is proportionably sooner over than in our country.
Such, dear mother, is a description of the women in India. I trust that God will support you, who have given birth to eight children, in your advancing years, I can assure you that my heart is always filled with true affection towards you, and with all tenderness I subscribe myself, &c.